Unprecedented scenes of carnage ruled the day at Battersea Park as four members of the Hammersmith Hawks fell victim to serious injury, three requiring trips to hospital. After a day that saw more blood spilt than Josh Lee’s last visit to Shang Tsung’s island for the annual Mortal Kombat tournament, the decision was finally made to call the game off as a draw.

And yet it was not a Cloke headbutt or a Mcluskey uppercut – not even a sinister Cole badger dance – that led to such mayhem, but a series of freak accidents. Two of the opposition suffered a head collision during the warm-up, one received the ball in the face while fielding and the most unfortunate was the batsman on 93 not out who edged a full toss into his eye.

In between all the stoppages for medical attention, a high-scoring game was in progress. Dollimore, who had celebrated his birthday the previous day, opened the batting and awarded himself the present of hogging all the strike from his partner Jinks, making a handy 34 runs in the process. Useful contributions from Cloke, Morse, Shone, Cade and Dovey (who hit a 6 off his very first ball as a Badger) meant that a very healthy 241 runs were scored off 35 overs.

The Hawks hadn’t enjoyed their time in the field, or indeed their time getting ready to field, but they decided that boundary-hitting looked a lot of fun. They moved from 25/3 to 167/3 before the next wicket went down and were sitting pretty on 192/5 with 11 overs remaining when the paramedics were called to the field. The injured Hawks batsman had ruthlessly punished the wayward Badger bowling and would almost certainly have continued on to an excellent century.

As it was, the light was already fading and both teams agreed to call it a day before any more Hawks incurred the wrath of the cricketing gods. The Badgers retired to the local pub, toasted Dollimore’s birthday and watched Cade lose to Cole in a pint-downing contest.

Cole has never been defeated.

Cade has vowed revenge.

Things are warming up nicely for tour.

Saturday 21st June 2014 Hawks Hammersmith Hawks vs Badgers Battersea Badgers

Battersea Badgers 241 for 9 (35 overs)

  • Dollimore 34 (51)
  • Cloke 33 (57)
  • Dovey 30 (17)
  • Shone 28 (20)
  • Cade 24 (21)
  • Morse 20 (12)
  • Unknown 3/21 (7)
  • Unknown 2/42 (7)

Hammersmith Hawks 192 for 5 (24 overs)

  • Unknown 93 (70)
  • Unknown 51 (50)
  • Cade 3/35 (7)
Full scorecard
More Recent Articles
  1. Don’t make him angry. You won’t like him when he’s angry.

    Thespian Thunderers match report 4th Jun 2014 — by Chris Shone
  2. The one where Martin refused to write a Friends-style title.

    Believers match report 1st Jun 2014 — by Martin Cloke
  3. The one where Dolli got some runs and Warman got a bowl

    Faire match report 1st Jun 2014 — by Richard Dollimore
  4. The one where it rained

    White Sox match report 1st Jun 2014 — by Richard Dollimore
  5. The one where Bob went crazy

    Seveno match report 1st Jun 2014 — by Richard Dollimore
  6. Sixth time lucky?

    Merton match report 10th Nov 2013 — by Chris Shone
  7. Faire wasn’t the weather

    Faire match report 10th Nov 2013 — by Chris Shone
  8. Badgers in seven(th)o heaveno

    Seveno match report 9th Nov 2013 — by Richard Dollimore
  9. Black and white-wash

    Thespian Thunderers match report 9th Nov 2013 — by Chris Shone
  10. Sometimes belief is not enough

    Believers match report 5th Nov 2013 — by Chris Shone
  11. Badgers are better than hawks.

    Hawks match report 19th Sep 2013 — by Chris Shone
  12. Badgers culled

    Roehampton match report 19th Sep 2013 — by Chris Shone
  13. Heroics from Cade and Dollimore (but mainly Cade)

    Oakhill match report 19th Sep 2013 — by Chris Shone
  14. A great game of cricket

    KRCSC match report 19th Sep 2013 — by Chris Shone
  15. Robin the Bezerker

    Itinerants match report 19th Sep 2013 — by Chris Shone
  16. I didn't play in this game

    LJs match report 19th Sep 2013 — by Chris Shone
  17. Lions, Badgers and Bears*

    Southbank match report 2nd Aug 2013 — by Richard Dollimore
  18. Party Pooping Badgers teach The Road a Lesson

    KRCSC match report 15th Jul 2013 — by Simon Dodd
  19. A public apology to Dr Cloke

    Thespian Thunderers match report 1st Jul 2013 — by Chris Shone
  20. A right royal spanking

    Harpsden match report 14th Jun 2013 — by Simon Dodd
Older Articles