The Badgers signed off their 2014 season with a win and plenty of needle against Kingstonian. Differences of opinion over the use of a new ball, accidental bouncers in the fading light and maniacal shouting by one of the opposition whenever a spectator stepped onto the pitch were some of the highlights in this feisty encounter.

Taking a rest from the mantle of captaincy, Dollimore passed the leadership reins to vice-captain Foord and strapped on his pads to open the innings. At the other end was Cloke, who had already scored more than 500 runs in the season and whose ‘doggy fun palace’ the RSPCA were eying with intense interest.

Early wickets slowed the Badger progress but Cloke remained steadfast and reached his fourth half-century of the season. Batting with Cole at the other end, the two men treated the crowd to some hilarious running, which involved plenty of sledging for suicidal calling and poor backing up. Incredibly, neither was run out and Cloke edged on to 59. He found himself closing in on an incredible 600 runs for the season but couldn’t quite get over the line, chipping the ball to backward square leg just 5 runs short of the milestone.

That was the cue for Mackrell to go ballistic with the bat. As if someone had whispered in his ear that Kingstonian didn’t like jelly babies and believed that all physics teachers were big girly sissies, he launched a ferocious attack on everything that was thrown at him. His half-century came off just 23 balls and he catapulted the Badgers to a total of 200 all out.

It was at this point that Foord’s authority as captain came into question. Having sent out a clear warning by e-mail that pork products might not be well-received by this week’s opposition, the ridiculous Badger players unveiled a tea comprising: ham sandwiches, bacon quiche, packets of ham, sausage rolls, pork pies and a whole tub of honey and mustard sausages. A stern telling-off could well have been in order were it not for the fact that the sausage chef was none other than Foord himself.

The Kingstonian innings began like a bullet from a gun, with boundaries sprayed left, right and centre. The famous Kingstonian danger opener had punished the Badgers before and was looking as if he could do so again. As the nervous fielders edged further and further away from his hitting zone, Allyn Blake stepped forward with a glint in his eye. Slower ball number 1 – just kept out. Slower ball number 2 – chipped in the air and caught! The fielders gleefully congratulated Blake and catcher Dollimore for a crucial breakthrough.

That wasn’t quite the end of the story but wickets continued to fall at regular intervals and the Badgers eventually wrapped up a 34-run victory. A Paul Cole wonder catch and victory grunt off his own bowling helped them on their way, as did 3-wickets from a fired-up Hamblin.

The only tinge of disappointment came from a Mackrell finger breakage that saw him carted off to hospital instead of to the AGM. In his absence, the rest of the team toasted his appointment as next season’s captain and giggled at the cock and balls drawn in Cadey’s notebook when he wasn’t looking.

Season fini.

Saturday 20th September 2014 Badgers Battersea Badgers vs Kingstonian Kingstonian

Battersea Badgers 200 for 10 (40 overs)

  • Cloke 59 (80)
  • Mackrell 54 (26)
  • Unknown 3/20 (8)
  • Unknown 3/47 (8)

Kingstonian 166 for 10 (35 overs)

  • Unknown 35 (0)
  • Unknown 26 (0)
  • Hamblin 3/54 (8)
  • Mackrell 2/2 (4)
  • Mcluskey 2/11 (3)
  • Cole 2/40 (7)
Full scorecard
  1. Kingstonians Jinksed by Mystery Balls

    Kingstonian match report 30th Jun 2018 — by Josh Lee
  2. Blockbuster Badgers Down The Thesps

    Thespian Thunderers match report 13th Jun 2018 — by Josh Lee
  3. The Worst Toilet in Scotland

    Plastics match report 9th Jun 2018 — by Josh Lee
  4. Warmongering in Wimbledon

    Wimbledonians match report 3rd Jun 2018 — by Josh Lee
  5. Clokey are you ok? So, Clokey are you ok? Are you ok Clokey?

    Ripley match report 27th May 2018 — by Josh Lee
  6. The Government steals one!

    His Majesty's Treasury and Cabinet Office match report 24th May 2018 — by Paul Cole
  7. The House of Stewarts/Stuarts

    Believers match report 20th May 2018 — by Josh Lee
  8. An Un-re-"Markle"ble Performance

    Corinthians match report 13th May 2018 — by Josh Lee
  9. Starting with a Bang (and a Hangover)

    Addiscombe match report 21st Apr 2018 — by Peter Cade
  10. Who Said Draws Weren’t Exciting?

    Southbank match report 17th Sep 2017 — by Josh Lee
  11. Captain Foord to the rescue

    Addiscombe match report 16th Sep 2017 — by Josh Lee
  12. Badgers and Australia suffer humiliating losses

    SLIC match report 23rd Feb 2017 — by Martin Cloke
  13. Badgers reclaim South-London Ashes

    KRCSC match report 29th Jan 2017 — by Chris Shone
  14. “I do!” (as long as you let me play cricket tomorrow)

    Itinerants match report 18th Jan 2017 — by Chris Shone
  15. Flooded again

    Faire match report 14th Jan 2017 — by Chris Shone
  16. Chocaholics Anonymous

    Kingstonian match report 13th Jan 2017 — by Robin Mackrell
  17. Spinning is winning

    Wimbledonians match report 11th Jan 2017 — by Josh Lee
  18. Single O Seven

    Seveno match report 10th Jan 2017 — by Josh Lee
  19. You only bat twice

    KRCSC match report 7th Jan 2017 — by Peter Warman
  20. Jan, Bam are all man

    Seveno match report 20th Nov 2016 — by Peter Cade
Older Articles