Run-machine Martin Cloke proved the scourge of Southbank once again with a majestic 79 not out. Having faced the first ball of the Badger innings, he carried his bat and hit the winning runs to lead the Badgers to 9-wicket victory.

On a sweltering summer’s day, the Badgers suffered an early disappointment, being asked to change behind closed doors rather than undressing at pitch-side. It transpired that previous complaints from the neighbouring houses, presumably from those forced to stomach Allyn’s bare torso all day, had led to a blanket veto on Badger skin being on show.

Undeterred by this attack on their freedom of bodily expression, the Badgers took their fury out on the Southbank batsmen. A magnificent one-handed catch down the leg-side from Jinks set the ball rolling and there was no let-up for the rest of the innings – Southbank eventually bowled out for 174.

Faced by the modest total, openers Cloke and Lee were able to play their natural textbook/grinding/blocking/accumulating/seeing-off-the-new-ball/sensible/slow/impressive/professional/untroubled/imperious game (depending on your viewpoint). Whatever your choice of adjective, their excellent opening stand of 125 runs all but won the game for the Badgers, with both men reaching their half-centuries to great acclaim from the crowd and an impromptu piece of break-dancing from Jinks.

Despite the lack tension in the finish to the game, those who stayed for post-match drinks were treated to a pint-downing competition extraordinaire. Reigning champion Paul Cole, who earlier proclaimed, “If I don't grunt, there’s a chance I’m not ripping it hard enough,” found himself dethroned by young upstart Charlie Walker, whose own pint-downing expertise is available to view on All customers to Paul’s cricket shop can expect to receive a free ‘challenge’, as he works himself back into drinking shape for the inevitable rematch.

Saturday 26th July 2014 Southbank Southbank vs Badgers Battersea Badgers

Southbank 176 for 9 (39 overs)

  • Unknown 64 (0)
  • Unknown 36 (0)
  • Blake 3/33 (8)
  • Cade 2/33 (8)

Battersea Badgers 177 for 1 (32 overs)

  • Cloke 79 (87)
  • Lee 54 (80)
  • Jinks 24 (29)
Full scorecard
  1. Any colour you like, as long as it’s Kew

    Kew match report 10th May 2021 — by Tom Rex
  2. Soggy bottom costs Badgers the win

    Cincinnati match report 1st Sep 2020 — by Tom Rex
  3. Badgers sizzle in Beddington scorcher

    Beddington match report 1st Sep 2020 — by Tom Rex
  4. Look East

    Interlopers match report 1st Sep 2020 — by Josh Lee
  5. A Winning End to Lock-Downe

    Downe match report 12th Aug 2020 — by Tom Rex
  6. Badgers Goosed by Soaring Ducksmen

    Ducksmen match report 3rd Aug 2020 — by Tom Rex
  7. All Hail Breaks Loose

    Addiscombe match report 26th May 2019 — by Josh Lee
  8. It’s grim up North London

    Arkley match report 4th Sep 2018 — by Peter Cade
  9. Badgers Win by 32 Runs

    Thesps match report 1st Sep 2018 — by Stuart Barker
  10. Two For One

    Eagles and Eagles match reports 12th Aug 2018 — by Peter Cade
  11. Fun in the sun with a ton at Sinjun

    Sinjun 3rds match report 4th Aug 2018 — by Paul Cole
  12. Kingstonians Jinksed by Mystery Balls

    Kingstonian match report 30th Jun 2018 — by Josh Lee
  13. Blockbuster Badgers Down The Thesps

    Thesps match report 13th Jun 2018 — by Josh Lee
  14. The Worst Toilet in Scotland

    Plastics match report 9th Jun 2018 — by Josh Lee
  15. Warmongering in Wimbledon

    Wimbledonians match report 3rd Jun 2018 — by Josh Lee
  16. Clokey are you ok? So, Clokey are you ok? Are you ok Clokey?

    Ripley match report 27th May 2018 — by Josh Lee
  17. The Government steals one!

    HMT/CO match report 24th May 2018 — by Paul Cole
  18. The House of Stewarts/Stuarts

    Believers match report 20th May 2018 — by Josh Lee
  19. An Un-re-"Markle"ble Performance

    Corinthians match report 13th May 2018 — by Josh Lee
  20. Starting with a Bang (and a Hangover)

    Addiscombe match report 21st Apr 2018 — by Peter Cade
Older Articles