Written by Will Gibbs
With finger-clicking scandals dominating the cricketing headlines this week, it seemed only fitting that the Badgers should produce a fixture with enough controversy to keep the MCC Laws sub-committee busy until Christmas.
The Badgers were sent in to bat, with Josh Lee and Jacques opening proceedings. The first incident of the day arrived almost immediately, when Mr Ques became convinced that the fielder taking the catch had planted one foot on the boundary rope. Replays remain inconclusive, largely because there weren’t any. A sign of things to come?
Josh Lee, however, was in no mood for distractions. His unbeaten 30 was a masterclass in timing, highlighted by a straight drive of such perfection that one might well leave their wife for it. At the other end, Kris somehow compiled 26 before retiring, despite appearing to have only one functioning leg. His innings raised serious questions over modern sports science.
Gibbs chipped in with 22 before trying to be one step too clever. At the halfway stage, the Badgers had posted 147, leaving the contest beautifully poised.
Sam and Hash took the new ball with genuine venom, each striking early while keeping the scoring under control. The only notable blemish came when four runs disappeared through this writer’s legs off the bowling of Allwood, thankfully Sam did not kill him.
Partridge and Gibbs were next into the attack, and with them arrived the day’s biggest flashpoint. The remaining MoJ opener edged one behind so clearly it could probably have been heard in Battersea, yet somehow both batsman and umpire stood their ground, apparently united in the belief that nothing whatsoever had happened.
At the other end, Gibbs found himself labelled a “prick” for appealing an LBW that looked to be crashing into middle stump. Perhaps the enthusiastic appeal for the previous delivery, a hip-high full toss that hit the batsmen’s thumb, had rather undermined his credibility.
There was even time for an intra-Badgers diplomatic incident as Godfrey and Gibbs exchanged words after the signal for the quicker ball became hopelessly lost in translation. Relations were swiftly restored, however, when the pair combined to run out an unsuspecting 10-year-old, proving that nothing heals a disagreement quite like shared success.
The spin twins, Adams and Tiger, then took centre stage. They extracted plenty of turn and even more frustration, with chance after chance landing agonisingly beyond the reach of waiting fielders.
With two overs remaining, the game still hung delicately in the balance. Enter Hash and Allwood, who returned to slam the door shut and secure a six-run victory for the Badgers.
Hash’s outstanding figures of 4-1-7-2 were the standout bowling performance of the afternoon, earning him another thoroughly deserved Badger of the Match.
As for the controversies? Thankfully, no-one was accused of clicking their fingers at first slip… although the match report committee reserves the right to investigate.