The Badgers signed off their 2014 season with a win and plenty of needle against Kingstonian. Differences of opinion over the use of a new ball, accidental bouncers in the fading light and maniacal shouting by one of the opposition whenever a spectator stepped onto the pitch were some of the highlights in this feisty encounter.

Taking a rest from the mantle of captaincy, Dollimore passed the leadership reins to vice-captain Foord and strapped on his pads to open the innings. At the other end was Cloke, who had already scored more than 500 runs in the season and whose ‘doggy fun palace’ the RSPCA were eying with intense interest.

Early wickets slowed the Badger progress but Cloke remained steadfast and reached his fourth half-century of the season. Batting with Cole at the other end, the two men treated the crowd to some hilarious running, which involved plenty of sledging for suicidal calling and poor backing up. Incredibly, neither was run out and Cloke edged on to 59. He found himself closing in on an incredible 600 runs for the season but couldn’t quite get over the line, chipping the ball to backward square leg just 5 runs short of the milestone.

That was the cue for Mackrell to go ballistic with the bat. As if someone had whispered in his ear that Kingstonian didn’t like jelly babies and believed that all physics teachers were big girly sissies, he launched a ferocious attack on everything that was thrown at him. His half-century came off just 23 balls and he catapulted the Badgers to a total of 200 all out.

It was at this point that Foord’s authority as captain came into question. Having sent out a clear warning by e-mail that pork products might not be well-received by this week’s opposition, the ridiculous Badger players unveiled a tea comprising: ham sandwiches, bacon quiche, packets of ham, sausage rolls, pork pies and a whole tub of honey and mustard sausages. A stern telling-off could well have been in order were it not for the fact that the sausage chef was none other than Foord himself.

The Kingstonian innings began like a bullet from a gun, with boundaries sprayed left, right and centre. The famous Kingstonian danger opener had punished the Badgers before and was looking as if he could do so again. As the nervous fielders edged further and further away from his hitting zone, Allyn Blake stepped forward with a glint in his eye. Slower ball number 1 – just kept out. Slower ball number 2 – chipped in the air and caught! The fielders gleefully congratulated Blake and catcher Dollimore for a crucial breakthrough.

That wasn’t quite the end of the story but wickets continued to fall at regular intervals and the Badgers eventually wrapped up a 34-run victory. A Paul Cole wonder catch and victory grunt off his own bowling helped them on their way, as did 3-wickets from a fired-up Hamblin.

The only tinge of disappointment came from a Mackrell finger breakage that saw him carted off to hospital instead of to the AGM. In his absence, the rest of the team toasted his appointment as next season’s captain and giggled at the cock and balls drawn in Cadey’s notebook when he wasn’t looking.

Season fini.

Saturday 20th September 2014 Badgers Battersea Badgers vs Kingstonian Kingstonian

Battersea Badgers 200 for 10 (40 overs)

  • Cloke 59 (80)
  • Mackrell 54 (26)
  • Unknown 3/20 (8)
  • Unknown 3/47 (8)

Kingstonian 166 for 10 (35 overs)

  • Unknown 35 (0)
  • Unknown 26 (0)
  • Hamblin 3/54 (8)
  • Mackrell 2/2 (4)
  • Mcluskey 2/11 (3)
  • Cole 2/40 (7)
Full scorecard
  1. Rex Tremendae*

    Ploughmans match report 21st Aug 2023 — by Chris Shone
  2. A Tale of Two Dickies

    Cincinnati match report 17th Aug 2023 — by Martin Fitzgerald
  3. Badger on a hot tin roof

    Southbank match report 12th Jun 2023 — by Martin Fitzgerald
  4. 3 Ducks & 22 Men, A Badger Versus Ducksmen Classic

    Flying Ducksmen match report 27th May 2023 — by Karl Larsson
  5. A Bloodless Coup

    19th May 2023 — by Martin Fitzgerald
  6. A Hard Day's Plight

    JMC match report 15th May 2023 — by Karl Larsson
  7. Badgers out for the count

    V&A match report 1st May 2023 — by Karl Larsson
  8. Yes Minister, the Badgers can boogie

    His Majesty's Treasury and Cabinet Office match report 24th May 2022 — by Tom Rex
  9. Jump-start Justin steers Badgers to victory

    Southbank match report 24th May 2022 — by Tom Rex
  10. Any colour you like, as long as it’s Kew

    Kew match report 27th Apr 2022 — by Tom Rex
  11. Suds, Spoons & Blake Break

    Addiscombe match report 27th Apr 2022 — by Nick Foord
  12. Soggy bottom costs Badgers the win

    Cincinnati match report 1st Sep 2020 — by Tom Rex
  13. Badgers sizzle in Beddington scorcher

    Beddington match report 1st Sep 2020 — by Tom Rex
  14. Look East

    Interlopers match report 1st Sep 2020 — by Josh Lee
  15. A Winning End to Lock-Downe

    Downe match report 12th Aug 2020 — by Tom Rex
  16. Badgers Goosed by Soaring Ducksmen

    Flying Ducksmen match report 3rd Aug 2020 — by Tom Rex
  17. All Hail Breaks Loose

    Addiscombe match report 26th May 2019 — by Josh Lee
  18. It’s grim up North London

    Arkley match report 4th Sep 2018 — by Peter Cade
  19. Badgers Win by 32 Runs

    Thespian Thunderers match report 1st Sep 2018 — by Stuart Barker
  20. Two For One

    Eagles and Eagles match reports 12th Aug 2018 — by Peter Cade
Older Articles